Category Archives: childhood abuse and trauma

Angel with Wings on a Horse Appears with a Message “SOAP”

automatic writing, childhood abuse and trauma, spiritual

Gloria Rising: pgs. 70-71

AUTOMATIC LETTER 53

Sunday night

Dear Adam,

Tonight before Gloria fell asleep she gave me instructions to reveal
information needed to help her sessions with you. I don’t know why she
did this, but the fact that it was done must have directed her mind in a different
way. This is the dream I had.

While sitting in a rocking chair waiting for someone to come to get me,
I found myself rising up, up, through the ceiling, up through the roof of my
house and I continued this floating till I was so high that all I could hear was
the whisper of clouds as they passed by me – I continued to rise – weightless
just like a feather and I wasn’t afraid even when I saw that I was in outer
space. Beneath me the earth was just a large round ball – only oceans and
continents could be seen and I thought this must be what the astronauts see
on their trips to the moon – it was exciting – total stillness – complete peace
and my soul felt free in that I was beyond troubles, fears, guilt, anxieties – I
felt I was in a sacred place – a place filled with love – unlimited love and
peace.

Even now I can feel as if I’m still in that relaxing home of peace. The
dream did not end there – suddenly I was back and near a railroad track
watching trains going by and I felt trapped – locked in and blocked as if
my problems were fencing me in, and I wanted to get on the train where
it stopped but it was too difficult to move and I saw an angel not too faraway sitting on a white horse and he smiled and I smiled back and told him,
“Watch out you don’t ride that horse too fast or your wings will get clipped
off,” he answered, “Don’t worry about me, I have risen above all that,”
and when I said, “I wish I could,” he answered, “Your trip would be less
dangerous if you could remember one word I’m going to give you which
is SOAP – think on that – no, no I don’t mean clean yourself, it has to do
with negative emotions from the past, you have a clue now “soap” it is very
important that you remember this.”

It made no sense to me, I was about to inquire for more when the angel and the horse and the train were gone and I started to run across the railroad tracks till I came to two roads and ahead of one road I could see a cross on top of a white building and steps leading
to it and each step had the word “soap” printed on it.

The other road was filled with flowers on both sides of it – I started to go by the road of
flowers and changed my mind and headed for the road with the cross and
I woke up still wondering why I had chosen the way I had, because when I
entered the road with the cross, I could see seven white horses at the top of
the road and it seemed impossible that I’d get to where I had intended to
go – but even now the word SOAP fills me with emotions of terror just as
it did in the dream. I don’t know why – except that it does – the word soap
meant nothing except an object till I had this dream though. Well, time to
stop and go face the seven white horses to see if I can get some more information
and I hope Gloria doesn’t give me any more instructions before
going to sleep or I’ll keep awake.

Hope too, that you can make some sense out of this dream because I
can’t.

Gloria’s Helper

The Pyramid Lady: I can’t consider you a thief or a likely candidate for prison or a nervous breakdown Gloria

automatic writing, childhood abuse and trauma, hypnotherapy

Gloria Rising pgs. 106-108

AUTOMATIC LETTER 77

Wednesday night

Dear Nice Person,

I’ve had a chance to read Gloria’s letter from the North Pole signed
Santa Claus (actually from you) over and over again – you’ve handed me
such a jumble of sweet emotions; you’ve stretched my capacity to care way off- thanks to you Adam my definition of love will never be the same. The best
part of coming to you, in talks like this, or at “our home away from home”
(your office) is you, and knowing you’ll be there.
You are the foundation, the base Gloria and I need to touch in good
times and bad. No matter how you feel about anything else your feelings
toward us are always the same. You’re available for support, reassurance,
counsel and during a crisis even physical help. Be assured we won’t take
advantage of your goodness but what you have done for us (Gloria and I)
will help us to draw strength from – every day of our life. For this precious
gift I cannot thank you enough. I had to tell you this before going into
Gloria’s dreams.
A little girl is in her bed – she has been accused of stealing a lot of money
and has been found in a closet with the money in the pocket of a dress – her
parents have reassured her that they didn’t believe she took the money even
after she confessed through fright that she did steal it. No wonder she’s
sleepy after this ordeal. In her dream she stares at the crucifix above the bed
then closes her eyes – the small figure on the crucifix had seemed to lean
forward as if preparing to jump off the cross and onto her pillow.
She sleeps and dreams she is in prison – endless corridors of cells
whose windows looked out on nothing but bars and policemen with guns
to shoot anyone who moved. One part of her wants to die – the other part
of her mind is shut off like a water faucet – eventually she will have to turn
it on – Later – Later she will have to think, to feel – now she has only to
move before the police come to get her.
Next, I see the little girl in the forest before the cemetery gates – the
worst are her feet – blood is all over them – she feels like all her bones
are broken like when the “Other” throws her across the wall – a little bird
draws near her – only it’s not a bird or a pigeon. It’s a little dove and it settles
gently on her head – the Pyramid Lady is there and she’s talking to the little
girl. I can hear her by going closer.
She’s saying, “I can’t consider you a thief or a likely candidate for
prison or a nervous breakdown Gloria (she knows her name?) I sense a real
strength in you more strength than you know is there – you’ve got internal reserves that ability to cope and to keep coping. Now remember don’t let
anyone tell you otherwise. I’ll help.”
Next, the little girl is at school and she’s in disgrace – the “Other” told
the principal that, “She’s been misbehaving very badly since we moved.
Telling lies and arguing all the time and now even stealing from her parents,
she took money hidden under carpets in the room. She took things
from my room and wouldn’t admit she had. Such a stupid lie as if anyone
else would have but she did admit to stealing last night when caught with all
that money. I don’t mind telling you. I’m beginning to wonder if she’s not
losing her mind. If anything gets taken tell the children where to look,” but
the children have heard everything and the little girl is hanging her head in
shame – a little boy is crying, “someone stole my crayons and I know who.”
Gloria is waking up in a cold sweat. She never stole anything. See you later.

Gloria’s Helper

So many Masks, So many Lies, So many Trapdoors that made the Little Girl fall through Darkness

automatic writing, childhood abuse and trauma, hypnotherapy

Gloria Rising pgs.  93-94

AUTOMATIC LETTER 66

Sunday night

Dear “Jolly Green Giant,”

You are valued all the time but never more so than when I can tell
you about Gloria’s nightmares and know that you will understand. Like in
tonight’s dream the “Other” told Gloria she was going to be a vegetable, so
many times that I’m surprised she didn’t end up in the ground like a vegetable.
We’ve got to cut it out, stop dreaming this frightening, senseless garbage.
A bad dream, something I have to push myself up from, raising my
fists in the air, sitting upright with my eyes wide open. I’m thinking of
the dream again – Gloria had been involved though I’m not sure how – it
had something to do with masks and marbleized people. I remember now.
Gloria’s eyes were covered by a pink mask and she took it off to show me
the other eye that was in the middle of the two eyes – the three eyed marvel
and something painful happened she was thrown into a large box by the
“Other” – close it off now the dream – close it – close it right off, right away!

Same night – Sunday

Hi again,
I became very much afraid earlier tonight and had to leave off – I’m
back now. I’m at the dream where the “Other” threw Gloria in a box –
he found out she had dug up the grave of the little child, Joshua, and she
couldn’t lie anymore – the bolted door – all the nightmare pain flows from
down there – no tears though – quietly the little girl has accepted the fact that she had to take pain to keep the “Other” calm – she always lived with
the knowledge that there were things to be done to keep the peace – the
fact was always there – he expected her not to cry – not to scream – not to
yell – but it’s so awful to step across a threshold and never know what you’re
going to see – you can’t imagine like when white light comes to you and
fragments of the puzzle burns clearer – it takes so much patience – suddenly
I realize I want to cry, really cry but I don’t because tears always seem such
a waste of energy, such an indulgence but there is pain in my heart – one
pain I can’t stand – tears because the little girl is going to be hurt again
very badly this time. I must stop this now – I’m sorry, really sorry to stop
here but I just have to – please try to understand – there have been so many
masks, so many lies, so many trapdoors that made the little girl fall through
darkness and now she’s about to go into a place that will make her lost forever
and I can’t stand this anymore. I have to stop now before it’s too late.
I’m very sorry – please (if you can) help – please.

Gloria’s Helper

The Woman with an Extra Eye said something Odd

automatic writing, childhood abuse and trauma, spirit guide

Gloria Rising pg. 90

AUTOMATIC LETTER 63

Thursday night

Dear Adam,

Strange dreams tonight. Saw the woman with an extra eye in the middle
of her forehead and she said something kind of odd. She said, “Take
a wall with a door. No one has ever been beyond that wall. Perhaps they
never will. While the door remains closed anything you want can be on
the other side – a country, or hell or any scene imaginable. There can be
flowers or fires – grass, marble pillars, mountains, planets, cities beneath
the sea, now do you see?” Gloria shook her head, “I’m trying very hard
but I don’t know where this is leading to. The door’s been opened for me.
I’ve seen behind it already.” “You’ve seen what has been some imagination
and some truth,” replied the lady. “Now, you must see all the truth and it’s
going to take work and time. You must write your dreams, no matter how
silly they seem to you.” Then she ran off and I found myself in a fenced
in circus ground. The Ferris wheel spun slowly, dazzling the eyes with its
rows of colored lights. In fact every building, tent and caravan trailer was
brightly lit. The lights, the music, the looks of people created a certain kind
of magic I’d never expected. Music from a dozen sources was playing and
to my utmost surprise those hundreds of casually dressed people streaming
through the gates created great excitement with their anticipation of having
a wonderful time.
Flushed parents held fast to the hands of children who wanted to run
wild and explore and suddenly I remembered the great circus fire, I had
been too with my brother in Connecticut where hundreds had died, and
I remembered the little girl without a tombstone and glancing up, I saw
the Pyramid Lady who said, “See it’s not always imagination behind the
wall,” and she was gone again. Not much sense to this dream but there
it is.

Gloria’s Helper

The Woman who had an Extra Eye in the Middle of her Forehead

automatic writing, childhood abuse and trauma, healing

Gloria Rising pgs. 88-89

AUTOMATIC LETTER 62

Wednesday night

Dear Adam,
Forget the woman upstairs. I’m not wasting any more time on someone
who doesn’t know that to survive she must get a permanent refuge.
She’s getting enough sympathy from Gloria for three people – if I don’t
get some sense for both of us – we’ll end up wondering how long we can
take this before it drives us crazy. At least, we have you to help us and
I’m going on to get rid of the past and Gloria can take care of current
events.
I’m trying something new tonight – trying to solve problems through
dreams and I’m going into a trance and dream state now – I’ll be back if it
works.
Later
Gloria’s Helper again – I’m not sure that what I tried worked except that
I’m able to say that the last dream I told you about had to do with a little
girl whom I had heard sobbing after a beating and I left off on my recalling
of that dream where I had seen her leaving with a shovel in her hand.
Well I followed her tonight – the same little girl – at first she didn’t see
me – then when she did she ran, and I lost her (in the dream I mean) and
I was in a state of shock – I found it hard to concentrate because it seemed
important to find her and I felt grief at my loss and fear for her – these
tumultuous waves of emotion created a feeling of panic that drove me on
searching until I stopped for a brief rest. I sat on a rock and realized that I
had no definite destination.
I was not facing the issue for that little girl’s survival – running in
shear panic was the last thing that would save her – then suddenly I saw
her – a distance away. She was coming out through a thick mounds of
straw and I started to follow her again but this time slowly – she still
carried the shovel. She talked to herself and said, “Here – if I want to see it – its right here.” Then she started digging and as she started I saw
someone else watching her – the woman who had an extra eye in the
middle of her forehead.
She motioned for me to be quiet by putting a finger across her mouth
and we both watched the little girl digging then the shovel struck something
– something that stopped the shovel’s penetration but didn’t seem to
be hard as a rock – the little girl let go of the shovel and lowered herself to
her knees and began digging with her hands like a child who plays in a sand
pile, a moment later as she worked the soil, she pulled this object she had
uncovered free from the earth that had covered it – it was a blanket. The
little girl started to tremble and she stared at the blanket for a long time as
if afraid to open it – but I guess she had come too far to turn back now. I got
a lot closer and so did the woman with the third eye but she motioned again
not to let my presence be known so I kept quiet. We saw the little girl with
a shaking hand folding back one corner of the blanket. She could only stand
to look at it for a second – already the flesh had begun to rot away and the
skin was gone from the skull – the little girl dropped the tiny corpse back
into its grave and she was shoving dirt back over it when she dug the dirt
back lifted up the little bundle again and tenderly wrapped it up completely
in the blanket. Then she put the dirt back and put rocks all around and on
top of the mound – then she was sick to her stomach and her face all pale
and her whole little body trembled as she started to walk away.
I was going to go to her – when the woman motioned me back and she
started to follow the little girl – somehow I understood the woman was
going to help her and I thought I must get to some shelter at once or I’m
going to die and I woke myself up. I’m not quite awake yet but almost and
I’m very tired – guess I’m not doing as much good at this as I thought – if
it wasn’t for the fact that I want to help Gloria to live and I want to live
too – I’d give it all up.
Don’t you give up or it’s all over – thank you for being there and God
bless you.

Gloria’s Helper

 

The Three Eyed Woman and the Will to Live

automatic writing, childhood abuse and trauma, spiritual

Gloria Rising pgs. 87-89

AUTOMATIC LETTER 61
Monday night

Dear Adam,

Tonight we had an odd dream – in it an older Gloria and I were walking
through a forest when we met (would you believe it?) a three eyed
woman. She smiled and asked, “What we would like to be like if we could.”
We didn’t understand then Gloria said, “I’d like to be as normal as a child
would be.” The lady smiled and said, “You have all those qualities now –
children have a sense of wonder about all of life – children are free to show
affection – children are unconcerned about conformity – all things seem
possible for a small child,” Gloria inquired, “But I’m not supposed to be a
child now?” and the lady said, “Jesus commands that we should, “become
as little children to enter the Kingdom of Heaven – this is needed for your
spiritual life and you have it already except that you are not a little child
who is totally dependent. You are rooted in trust though and persistent
but not as a child but persistent to getting bread at an imminent hour and
in getting help when needed to get a fair ruling.” The woman went right
on talking till we both fell asleep and when we woke up we were children
and we saw a large black beast looking straight at us – we didn’t move –
till we got tired of sitting there, we made a move to get up and the beast
started to get up. We ran and came out of the forest and saw a house with
a golden key in the door, we unlocked the door and locked it with the key
and we could hear the animal banging against the door and I woke Gloria
up before the dream went further. Hope tomorrow’s dream is a better one.

Gloria’s Helper

 

AUTOMATIC LETTER 62
Wednesday night

Dear Adam,

Forget the woman upstairs. I’m not wasting any more time on someone
who doesn’t know that to survive she must get a permanent refuge.
She’s getting enough sympathy from Gloria for three people – if I don’t
get some sense for both of us – we’ll end up wondering how long we can
take this before it drives us crazy. At least, we have you to help us and
I’m going on to get rid of the past and Gloria can take care of current
events.
I’m trying something new tonight – trying to solve problems through
dreams and I’m going into a trance and dream state now – I’ll be back if it
works.
Later
Gloria’s Helper again – I’m not sure that what I tried worked except that
I’m able to say that the last dream I told you about had to do with a little
girl whom I had heard sobbing after a beating and I left off on my recalling
of that dream where I had seen her leaving with a shovel in her hand.
Well I followed her tonight – the same little girl – at first she didn’t see
me – then when she did she ran, and I lost her (in the dream I mean) and
I was in a state of shock – I found it hard to concentrate because it seemed
important to find her and I felt grief at my loss and fear for her – these
tumultuous waves of emotion created a feeling of panic that drove me on
searching until I stopped for a brief rest. I sat on a rock and realized that I
had no definite destination.
I was not facing the issue for that little girl’s survival – running in
shear panic was the last thing that would save her – then suddenly I saw
her – a distance away. She was coming out through a thick mounds of
straw and I started to follow her again but this time slowly – she still
carried the shovel. She talked to herself and said, “Here – if I want to see it – its right here.” Then she started digging and as she started I saw
someone else watching her – the woman who had an extra eye in the
middle of her forehead.
She motioned for me to be quiet by putting a finger across her mouth
and we both watched the little girl digging then the shovel struck something
– something that stopped the shovel’s penetration but didn’t seem to
be hard as a rock – the little girl let go of the shovel and lowered herself to
her knees and began digging with her hands like a child who plays in a sand
pile, a moment later as she worked the soil, she pulled this object she had
uncovered free from the earth that had covered it – it was a blanket. The
little girl started to tremble and she stared at the blanket for a long time as
if afraid to open it – but I guess she had come too far to turn back now. I got
a lot closer and so did the woman with the third eye but she motioned again
not to let my presence be known so I kept quiet. We saw the little girl with
a shaking hand folding back one corner of the blanket. She could only stand
to look at it for a second – already the flesh had begun to rot away and the
skin was gone from the skull – the little girl dropped the tiny corpse back
into its grave and she was shoving dirt back over it when she dug the dirt
back lifted up the little bundle again and tenderly wrapped it up completely
in the blanket. Then she put the dirt back and put rocks all around and on
top of the mound – then she was sick to her stomach and her face all pale
and her whole little body trembled as she started to walk away.
I was going to go to her – when the woman motioned me back and she
started to follow the little girl – somehow I understood the woman was
going to help her and I thought I must get to some shelter at once or I’m
going to die and I woke myself up. I’m not quite awake yet but almost and
I’m very tired – guess I’m not doing as much good at this as I thought – if
it wasn’t for the fact that I want to help Gloria to live and I want to live
too – I’d give it all up.
Don’t you give up or it’s all over – thank you for being there and God
bless you.

Gloria’s Helper

THREE EYES and an EXTRA EAR

automatic writing, childhood abuse and trauma, hypnotherapy

Gloria Rising pgs. 66-68

AUTOMATIC LETTER 51

Wednesday night

Dear Adam,
I’m in a relaxed, tranquil mood because I forced myself to visualize and
moved myself to picture someone walking across a field and in that scene I
didn’t recognize the person but I sensed he was a friend. As he came closer,
I saw he was a beautiful person because he lifted up his head and he called
out and ran toward me. His arms opened to receive me and it was a very comforting moment because it was Jesus and He told me He loved me.
Since then I’m in that silent, peaceful field and I know that someday Gloria
and I will have a peace centered heart and mind.
I’ve told you this because I want you to know that earlier tonight I was
as depressed as I thought a person could be. Then Gloria got a telephone call
from Taylor and believe me it was revealed to both of us what depression
really is like if a person doesn’t care to try to get help. I won’t go into the conversation
because it’s too personal about Taylor but no matter how many
times Gloria advised him to see a therapist or whoever could help him. She
got one reply, “Tell me you love me.” He’s seeing a Veteran’s doctor and
getting medication etc. but he has to wait another month before going to
see him again. He’ll never make it – anyway, after an hour’s talk – well I
don’t even want to say anymore on the subject of Taylor, it’s too discouraging
to hear a person who could get help and yet just lets himself go.
It did open our eyes to our own attitude though, because when Gloria
admitted to a depression well it was the same as when she tried to talk to
Taylor tonight and the memories of her husband’s depressions and the
years of hell that went with it – discouraged us more than we’ve ever been
discouraged in our life. This was before the discussion with Taylor.
Now, I’m remembering all you said that Gloria’s depression needn’t be
like her husband’s and I can guarantee you that it will never reach the point
that Taylor is in either because we won’t permit it too – most important of
all, we’re very lucky, we have you and we’re going to help you all the way. So
never mind how we act during our sessions, just know that we are going to
change whatever attitudes or whatever needs to be changed to get Gloria
well again. Any suggestions will be appreciated.

Hi again,
To get to tonight’s dream – it’s very vivid and I have no idea what it
means but I’ll tell you about it as fast as I can. Something happened to me in
this dream tonight. I became angry as soon as I saw Gloria coming toward
me because this time, there she was walking slowly toward me, with her three
eyes and (get this) an extra ear on the right side of her head – she was smiling and this made me even more angry and I said, “What’s with the extra ear, do
we need more trouble?” She just smiled and said, “The better to hear you
with, my dear,” and the eye is saying, “The better for you to see with my dear.”
I kept looking at her and she was getting shorter and smaller and I was
remembering our childhood. I was running like a wild animal set free from
a cage and actions of pictures were flashing in front of my eyes – I saw the
stabbing, the hurt, gasping noises – hate for someone grabbing long hair
pulling a head backward – flicking the ash of his cigarette, holding it close
to the throat – eyes wild with fear – and hate again as he gently touched
the glowing coal against tender skin a scream of pain and laughter – again
laughter and this time the laughing maniac slowly ground the cigarette
out on the mouth deliberately forcing it between clenched cracked lips –
a small chin quivers slightly as a parched tongue runs across blisters in
a feeble attempt to get rid of the ash and shreds of tobacco which clings
to them – again and again the head is held backwards – screams of fear –
throat making noises like sandpaper scraped over screen wire- grinded cigarettes
pressed against the neck over and over – screams of pain, terror till
someone faints from pain – is untied and slumps to the floor in the dirt and
cobwebs – curses – loud voices – kicking but no more screams. I hurried
over this because I’m afraid of the emotions I feel and besides I still remember
tonight how Gloria woke up saying, “I’m not afraid! I’m not afraid!”
There will be more dreams but they will be recalled – so don’t you give
up on us – thank you and God bless you for being here. Getting very tired
now so time to go back to Fun Dreamland and the Jolly Green Giant.

Gloria’s Helper

A Guardian Angel Appears

automatic writing, childhood abuse and trauma, supernatural

Gloria Rising pgs. 56-58

AUTOMATIC LETTER 44
Wednesday night

Dear Adam,

Thanks for gently turning us around, we were trapped – in an emotional
dead end – stuck in an emotional trap like a wild frightened animal,
with intense feelings of humiliation, shame, grief, anger, hate, helplessness, and hopelessness the little girl felt – she wanted to die. Emotions need to come
out but not bursting like a dam to drown us.
Now, I’m in a state of relaxation after having several nightmares – one
dream started out to be beautiful. I was with little Gloria and we were in
the children’s ward of a hospital when a nurse met us and led us down the
hall to what seemed an empty room – then we saw a basket like crib and the
nurse lifted a small baby wrapped in a blanket and she place the baby into
little Gloria’s arms. Gloria held the infant as if she were holding a great
treasure and tenderly touched its cheek – there was no separation between
her and the child – they were one – and her arms closed around it. She
looked at me as if unable to explain her feelings of bliss and joy – no words
were adequate for the sensations of that moment but I knew how joyful she
felt – the child was an object of love and he had a mission in life – to draw
out love and care, to make people gentle toward him – towards each other.
Little Gloria, sat in a rocker, and no sooner had the rocking commenced
than the baby’s eyes opened. The brown eyes looked straight at her and in
miraculous transformation melted in a conspiratorial smile as mouth tilted
and cheeks spread with new found happiness – gurgling the baby grabbed
little Gloria’s finger – she didn’t stand a chance. She fell in love with a little
baby and that baby knew it. It could be said that God was in that baby asking
to be loved because as Christ said, “Whatever you do to the least of my
little ones you do to me.” I felt very happy as I watched little Gloria rocking
that small bundle in her arms (knowing it was Joshua – her sister’s baby,
she could not resist – knowing he innocently had helped her love again) – if
I had known the nightmare that was to follow – well that’s another dream
and I’ll keep it separate from this one.

Same night – Wednesday

Hi again,
I’ll attempt to tell you of another dream we had tonight – it was
about Gloria but I knew I was dreaming it too. I found myself in an
almost featureless wilderness – a land of snow and ice. I lost Gloria that is one minute she was there – the next I was alone, scared, frightened
but strangely excited by the solitude and bleakness of my surroundings. I
sensed that some great secret lay just out of sight – I was a little upset too
because I felt if I discovered this secret, I’d be doing so at deadly peril –
snow swirled all around me – it became difficult to see ahead of me farther
than a few feet away – suddenly someone appeared out of the whiteness.
I didn’t recognize the person but the person seemed to know me – then
I could see that it was a man very tall and thin, and he held something
like a large circle in his hands and this circle had lines radiating from the
center of it like the spokes of a wheel. Then Gloria appeared next to him
and though she appeared like herself at first then I noticed that she had
a large single eye and her two little eyes besides – it was all very strange.
The man and Gloria beckoned that I was to follow them but I began to
feel numb and drowsy and I just let myself drop in the snow – something
was dragging me down. I heard Gloria yelling, “Wait – wait,” but a tiny
voice whispered, “This is where it ends and it doesn’t matter very much
after all,” and then the white snow turned gray and the gray turned to
black – then just as I was really beginning to relax I felt myself mysteriously
drawn up – pulled out by my wrists and I was a little girl again – too
little to understand but still I knew what was being said to me – that my
sister was down there and it was somehow my fault. The “Other” said so.
I knew I had done something terribly wrong and the sister had died and someone
was very angry at me – that was why he came into the room at night and the
blows would fall. I knew that someone had told me never to disobey again
or something terrible would happen – and I did disobey only once – what
happened? Something – terrible.
I’d better come out of this dream – something seems to be twisting
itself around my neck making it hard to breathe. I’m taking deep breathes
now (just like you told me to) and I’m okay. We’ll talk about it some other
time okay?
Gloria’s Helper

An Angel places a Third Eye on Gloria’s forehead

automatic writing, childhood abuse and trauma, hypnotherapy, supernatural

Gloria Rising pgs. 62-64

AUTOMATIC LETTER 48

Sunday night

Dear Adam,

I’d better put down dreams just had before I forget the whole thing.
One was a weird experience – a child is looking for his mother and she
is nowhere to be found but while she walks around searching, she meets
several other people and each of these people ask for directions – the child
points to different streets and they go along but always leave before she has
a chance to ask where his mother is.
Then something strange happens, the child sees a volcano and coming
from there is what looks like an angel. He’s running toward the child, he
approaches and tells her not to be worried and put his hand out toward the child’s forehead and tells her, “Well look at you! Now you have three eyes.”
I am looking at the child, I see Gloria and she really has three eyes – one
in the middle of her forehead. The volcano erupts and we’re running but
the fire doesn’t seem to come our way – I see a house and I grab Gloria
and head for it – there’s a golden key in the door and it turns easily but
slowly – it is filled with a family – I look at them, children, parents, and
others and Gloria starts to talk to someone she calls “mother” – her mother
tells her, “I have always loved you, I still do,” and Gloria answers, “Do you
know I love you too?” The mother says, “Yes, my child, you have proved it
always.” – there the dream focuses on others in the family – I try to come
to understand the specific needs of each member of this family and to
accommodate the need as well as it is possible – Gloria is helping me and
others start to help us – when a child cries someone is there to hold his
hand, to hug him or talk with him; when a child stumbles someone always
comes to help him up – when he mourns someone mourns with him –
there is immense comfort in this group of people – a social order and we
know that this caring is helping them to survive – it’s a good feeling – till
we hear footsteps approaching the house – everyone is saying things like,
“Don’t worry,” – “Don’t be afraid,” – hammering fists against the door –
kicking – shouting – the door stays closed. I see Gloria – she still has her
three eyes and strangely there is fear in two eyes only – I am petrified with
fear – the door opens and someone walks up to Gloria, yanks her to her
feet and drags her into the yard, saying, “Next time you’ll remember not to
put ideas into children’s heads – cry, mourn, laugh – well I’ll teach you,” –
he’s carrying Gloria (who is never a little child herself) under his arm like
a sack of grain. He’s striding across the dark yard to the pigeon house – he
fumbles with the lock, opens the door and yells, “Inside, you can stay with
the birds until you learn to obey me.”
The strangest thing happens all I can see of Gloria are her eyes flashing
and there’s fear in two eyes but one (the third eye) is twinkling and
winks at me – this is where I start to feel “it’s all over” – and then I’m in that
pigeon house – hammering my fists against the door – frantically shouting and screaming and suddenly the shack is filled with the sound of frightened birds slamming against me.
I don’t want to remember any more of this dream- too many emotions
that I’m not sure of are going on in me – will talk to you later – help, please.

Gloria’s Helper

 

Deep inside he hates me, I sense he’d enjoy killing anyone

automatic writing, childhood abuse and trauma, hypnotherapy

Gloria Rising pgs. 40-41

AUTOMATIC LETTER 31

Sunday night

Dear Adam,
Gloria is resting while I tell you what’s going on. It’s been one nightmare
after another. Gloria was dreaming of a hotel. She knew it was a hotel
although she had never been there before it was vast, she seemed to run
down endless corridors. People ignored her and talked to each other as she
ran past as though she was not there. She had to find someone, she didn’t
know why, she only knew she had to find this person or – or what? She
didn’t know the urgency or the reason – she turned a corner and was in a
dark narrow passage, blind – she heard breathing somewhere but could see
no one. It got darker and she started to feel her way across the passage –
she fell – it became less dark and she saw a closet door – the door started to
open slightly – she screamed and that was it – she woke up.
To add to this, her inner force refused to leave her alone – it did
nothing she could put her finger on – no outbursts but there was a feeling
of something functioning inside that wasn’t her – something that was
brooding and trying to think things out – it must have had something to
do with me.
I don’t like closets. I haven’t for a long time. I was never locked in
one like some are – but I still hate closet doors. I feel scared, anxious –
very much afraid. Many times Gloria finds that I’m the only one who has
the answers for her – it’s only because I know of things – of experiences
she doesn’t remember – of incidents that happened. It’s also because I’m
determined to take care of her. She is learning to have faith in relying on
me – it’s all thanks to you. We follow your suggestions, we don’t open the
front door, we lock our windows, and no looking through the peephole or
outside when we hear the noise this way we are protected.
All this has nothing to do with the feeling of doom – I feel right now.
Please why doesn’t somebody come – why doesn’t anyone stop this – a terrible
thought – is he going to kill me – I’m so cold – the most frightening part – he hasn’t said a word yet. I know deep inside he hates me. I sense
he’d enjoy killing anyone – and I have to get out of here.
I’m tired, exhausted, I’m leaving now.

Gloria’s Helper